Thoughts

  In the middle of a party When everybody's laughing  I don't,  I usually don't find anything that funny or interesting  And mind me Nobody's expecting me to laugh  But there's something inside me That pulls my core towards it That's when I know that familiar feeling  And I shift my attention to those talks Just to be more engaged  and denounce the feeling And what better way  than an eye contact  But with each words  coming out of his mouth  I turn deaf to him And just look at those eyes Long enough for me to realise  That it's a stare  It is uncomfortable in my mind And I bring to myself  Just to take my eyes off  But in that moment  Right after my quick response  I realised he needed me the most However I stare away  His eyes still on me But he stops talking  Everybody in that room suddenly disappears With only this ringing in my ears feeling a hollowness in my chest Pulled back by the soun...

Amidst those silent breezes There's a tide forsaken An infinite amount of thuds In those unwitty roars of laughters Lil twisted lil unravelled knots Binding two into one Two faces of innocence Turning into a nuisance Such a master of this game we are Leaving no stone undone Just coz we can't let go off it Yet, its a maze of mirrors Musing thee in one's search endlessly 

Your recurring effort to make it a graveyard Made you the PIONEER You must be so selfish You must be so hopeless You must be so incognizant But you must be a fool I had shed tears for countless nights You haunt me with your weapons I wish I would have never slept Coz all of my children has turned out to be a nightmare I protected you, I saved you I was always a relief to your pain But alas!! You paid my debt back By stabbing me so hard Right through my heart Today your mother  is crying her heart loud Nevertheless her own children Has turned their back and turned deaf One day I will haunt you with all those good memories Which you will never get to live again And earth will seem a cursed place to live in!!

I rest on your chest And your heart beats every second for her That aches Your fingers perfectly fit hers And I try so hard to fill those gaps But I fail relentlessly  Coz I could never fill the void in you That aches We never had that picture That defines our love Somehow we were impatient enough To paint it with our colours That ach es I see you shedding your tears for her Missing her warm tender lips on yours That ach es But it aches the most when I try to fall for someone The way I had fallen for you But darling my heart just can't beat The same way it once did for you

Is my skin colour bothering you Are my words so hard That it feels like a knife through you Is it so hard to be empathetic Coz sitting here feels like I am a dreadful mess Whom you can't cherish Just coz my choices ain't same As defined by others Doesn't mean you make me So hard on myself I am trying so hard not to Fall for her But it's hard to stop drowning into her Coz she is a drug to me Her scent, her warm lips on mine I am driving wild without her presence Can you send her my love through this Coz I am afraid if I will be here Waiting for someone who is never meant to be mine Without her I am smelling death I know it's death coz I smelt it before When you blamed me to be myself And she is not any different than you I am not ashamed to have her as my Choice But I  am ashamed to be somebody else's choice

The door slammed open A shadow waving at me It walked in to me Leaned towards me Whispering to me "Everything gonna be alright with me" Yes everything became alright With its whimsical sense of humour And my witty laughing I found myself lost in an illusion An illusion that was a white lie to me Still my heart skipped a beat for it Yes I got habituated to that world I owned the throne  A day it was quenched forever I tried harder to keep it inside me But no wonder I could keep it in me Yes I lost it forever That stayed as a beautiful lie  No traces of the shadow I can't eavesdrop a single word from any Because that was just a beautiful dream That made me realise that You were just a nightmare dressed like a daydream